Athena's Garden

“But why would you go down there for them? Why them? They don’t worship us or deserve our benevolence. You’re going to regret this, whether it’s those humans that make you regret it or me.”

Zeus has always had a bit of a big head. He thinks just because he roars and thunders at me that I’ll “learn” from my interactions with the humans. What he’ll apparently never learn is that I’m smarter than that. After all, I’m the Goddess of Wisdom. 

Perhaps this isn’t the place to start in explaining how I got this little lecture from the king of the gods. Let me start at the beginning:

In 1785, a grand idea for a university was chartered. Of course, it was merely a musing for 16 years. Then at the turn of the century, some men rallied together to pick the exact spot for the university, settling on the top of a hill. They wanted to name the school’s town after my town in Greece, calling it Athens. Because they named it such and decided to put it on a hill to emulate my home, Olympus, I took an interest in their activity and their university. 

By the time they broke ground and started accepting students, I was the implicit ambassador for the school. The people attending the school knew about me and my influence I think but it really wasn’t talked about given how taboo believing in Greek “myth” is for them. But no matter, I helped them get started and get the funding they needed. I was the person behind the curtain helping things move along. Whenever someone said there didn’t need to be a school in some random place in a random state, I’m the one that encouraged them to keep going and ignore the people that didn’t understand their purpose.

And they honored me too. They gave me a statue in one of their gardens and obviously indirectly named their town after me. Eventually, they made another, larger statue of me in the center of the town too. They may not have named the school after me but I don’t need that kind of validation anyway. I’m content just knowing that I made an impact on making sure the school succeeded. 

So that brings us to now. I've been behind the scenes of this university for 200 years without anyone in my family knowing, helping these odd, aimless, random students to learn and succeed while simultaneously hiding from the politics and dysfunctionality and chaos of Olympus. Things are a little different now though than they were when I helped found the school. Now, so many things are run through the internet rather than face-to-face interactions. That lowers the impact I can actually make and makes it a bit more difficult for me to make an impact. Luckily for me, the online platform the university uses is also named after me, so of course it has to run smoothly and intelligently. Plus they’ve named the art center the Athenaeum.

All of this to say they still honor and respect me and wish to draw on my wisdom, even if they don’t directly worship me as those in my home historically have. And I’ve made their university reputable enough that I know they’re educated on who I am and what I’m capable of. Zeus’ big head really just isn’t necessary. The university and I have come to a sort of understanding where I help behind the scenes and they represent me and can feel some of my wisdom. After all these years of that kind of relationship, Zeus has finally found out about this simply because of one wayward student thanking him instead of me.

I’m not upset. Really, I’m not. I do the best that I can with what I have but every now and then there’s a rotten egg. One that doesn’t realize all of this is my doing and not “the king of the gods” extending a helping hand. The student that put me in this position, they don’t even study classics or history or anything that would educate them on my power. So clearly it’s not their fault. It’s mine for encouraging the university to support a wide variety of specialities rather than just ones that would teach about me. But that’s the difference between Zeus and I. I desire the spread of further education and encourage intellect. He’s merely interested in power and ego and maintaining his spot on the throne.

Did it bother me that a student specifically thanked him and didn’t even think of me? Sure. I guess. I mean, yeah a little. But really only because that brought attention to the school and now look where we are. Zeus should never have known I was involved in affairs unrelated to our homeland or the people that pray to us.

But anyway, this is Michael’s story. Not mine. And it begins with an online acceptance letter to the University of Georgia.

As he sped home that fateful Friday night, he didn’t even listen to music. The only thought running through his head was: What if I don’t get in? Am I supposed to go to community school for a year and then reapply? Do I find a backup school and just stay somewhere else? What do I tell my family if I don’t get in?

He finally pulls into her driveway at 3:55 pm, racing to get on his laptop so he can be ready when decisions come out. 

3:56 pm

His car is in park, he has sprinted inside and turned his laptop on.

3:57 pm

He’s logging into his account and his family has begun to gather. His dad is to his left on the couch and his mom is to his right, both waiting about as impatiently as him.

3:58 pm

Now he’s just staring at his screen waiting for the clock to turn 4. He hears his mom talking but doesn’t really register the words, then he hears his brother's voice. His brother already goes to UGA so he’s at school but he FaceTimed their mom to hear when decisions come out.

3:59 pm

His knee is bouncing and he hasn’t shifted his eyes away from the screen. His mom is clearly as anxious as him and keeps incessantly talking. His dad, nonchalant as ever, continues playing on his phone.

4:00 pm

He has now hit refresh a dozen times and nothing has shown up. Anxiety is high. Sweat has commenced. He doesn’t know if maybe he got the time wrong or if he didn’t get in. Maybe this is an omen?

4:01 pm

He’s in!!! His screen finally loaded and there’s red and black confetti flying around the screen. His dad is grinning, his mom is screaming and jumping up and down, his brother is laughing. His mom walks out of the room for a couple of seconds only to come out carrying a cookie that says “Go Dawgs” in big bold letters, and everyone is congratulating him. To Michael, this is the biggest, proudest moment of his young adult life. Everything he’s worked so hard for his entire school life finally paid off to get him into the university of his dreams.

Months later, he is wearing a long black dress, and a red cap and gown. He’s got chords draped around his neck and a tassel dangling in front of his eyes, and he’s so very happy to be walking across a stage to accept his high school diploma. It’s mere coincidence that his high school’s colors are also red and black, but he feels like it is fate that he will now be attending the red and black university.

The heat has come to a new high outside and he’s drowning in sweat but it’s finally move-in day at his dorm. He just finished a relaxing summer hanging out with his mom at their pool and now he’s ready to be a college student. He’s a Bulldog now. His dorm may be small and his roommate may be pessimistic, but he has pride and hope and a desire to be there.

Day 1 of classes goes well! He’s got good classes and he socialized with some nice people and his professors all seem as good as they can be. This is the beginning of his journey into the real world, starting with getting a degree in business. His optimism for a bright future remains high and he blocks out all of the negativity around him, ignoring his ever-pessimistic roommate and not letting the vague responses he gives when people ask him what he wants to do with his degree get to him. He has hope.

By the time he finishes his last exam of his second semester of college, his hope has dropped significantly. His demeanor starts to emulate his roommate much more, and every time someone asks about his career path, his frustration shows. He feels path-less. He spends his free time attempting to distract himself from the fact that his future looks dismal if he can’t get his grades up. That’s why his attitude has changed so drastically. He came into college with enough scholarships to completely pay his way through college. And then he slacked off his first year and now his GPA is low enough that he has lost his scholarships. He knows if he can’t get his GPA up that he won’t be able to get his scholarships back and he might not have good options when he graduates. In other words, he feels his future will be completely derailed if he continues down his current path. 

Out of seemingly nowhere, he remembers his favorite book from middle and high school: Percy Jackson. He remembers that in those books - and the movies - the people would communicate with their Greek god and goddess parents, hoping to get guidance or help from them, or even just talk to them. Since he’s agnostic and doesn’t pray in that sense, he decides he can try to communicate to Greek gods to see if they have any advice for him. Maybe they can help him get through Econ 101.

So he leans up in his bed - he figures this should be a bit more formal than just laying down but also doesn’t feel like climbing down from his bunk - and clasps his hands.

Is this how people pray? This seems odd. But OK. Here goes. Umm…I’m not sure if you can hear me Zeus, but my name is Michael. I’m 19 years old and I am a college kid struggling through classes and…well life I guess. I don’t know if you have any advice or anything or if you maybe can magically take a couple of exams for me so I can pass but I’d really appreciate it if you did. I’m going to lose my scholarships this semester and I have to tell that to my parents and I don’t really know what I’m going to do after college either. I would welcome any help you can provide to me if you even do that sort of thing. I mean if you even exist, too. I don’t know what I’m doing. In general but also right now…I don’t really know how this works. Am I supposed to offer something? I can offer my little sister’s first born kid if she ever has one! She can just make another. And I don’t plan on having kids because yuck. Anyway…thanks I guess.

Without knowing the consequences of this little desperate interaction, he did in fact get Zeus’ attention. Zeus only glanced down at him when he heard his name but it was long enough to recognize the obvious help the university had been receiving. And from one of his people!

Meanwhile, being the ever watchful caregiver, I had also heard the entire mental monologue Michael gave and was instantly tense, knowing Zeus would come for me. And of course I was right. Zeus came storming over from his throne, lightning trailing behind him.

“ATHENA!! Do I need to remind you of your place? Did I tell you that you could sponsor that place?? Because I don’t recall allowing this to happen!” Zeus thundered.

“Need I remind you that you don’t control everything, Father? The school was looking to honor me and I felt compelled to help them so I did. They needed some sort of help to get started.”

The disdain rolled off him in waves as he replied, “Humans don’t need our help. Ever. And what about since then? You never stopped helping them, it wasn’t just ‘helping them get started’ was it?”

“I like to stay in the loop about my investments. So no, it wasn’t ever limited to just the beginning.”

“But why would you go down there for them? Why them? They don’t worship us or deserve our benevolence. You’re going to regret this, whether it’s those humans that make you regret it or me.”

“And if I do, I’m sure you’ll be the first to gloat. Until then,” I was not interested in having this conversation and was attempting to usher him out of my space, “aren’t there women for you to chase and men to torture?”

“I swear on all things mythical, you’ll regret this. Humans always disappoint,” was his only reply as he stalked out of the room. He always felt the need to have the last word to demonstrate his power.

So like I said, this isn’t my story. It’s the story of Michael. A business major at a random university struggling to catch his breath, who unintentionally called attention to the goddess-like help backing that university and inadvertently made that help leave. He single-handedly reminded me why we stay out of human affairs; they don’t understand us and don’t deserve our aid. After my interaction with Zeus, I decided that he was ultimately right. I should never have taken part in the affairs of a school unrelated to me or my jurisdiction. It’s been a good couple hundred years, UGA, but this is my sign off. I wish you the best of luck and may you continue to thrive as you did under my watchful eye.